If you want a rich life, it’s all about living a sensual life. And no, this has nothing to do with sex, or sexuality (though it can absolutely seep into that realm, too). This is all about dropping into the senses and infusing the senses into your every day way of living and being, so that your daily routines are rich with experience. We’re talking about rich; rich like a dark chocolate truffle and how the experience itself has the capacity to transport you the moment you take even the tiniest bite into it – the receptors in your mouth sending a ripple through your bloodstream as the muscles in your body relax… and you can’t help but to slow down, to savor this treat and maybe even close your eyes a bit, thinking to yourself, “Yes, this is heavenly.”
Or rich like soaking in a bubbly, fragrant bath infused with essential oils and surrounded by flickering candlelight. Imagine slipping into the water, feeling its soothing warmth envelop your body as the scent of lavender and rose fills the air. The soft glow of the candles dances on the surface of the water, casting a serene light around the room. As you sink deeper into the bath, the silky texture of the water caresses your skin, and the gentle sound of water lapping against the tub soothes your mind. You take a deep breath, inhaling the calming aroma, and feel the tension melt away from your muscles. With each passing moment, you find yourself submerged into a state of pure relaxation and bliss, savoring the tranquility and luxury of this indulgent experience.
Have you noticed that when you’re dropped into your senses, you’re dropped into the present moment? You’re fully absorbed in what your body is experiencing. For a few seconds, at the very least, you’re out of your head and its anxious worries about the future. You’ve disconnected from the mind and it’s worn out stories of the past. You’re here… right here, right now. And you’re not just here, but fully here. Dropped in. Embodied.
This is what it is to be alive – fully awakened to our senses so that we can be in this human experience and dance through the array of human emotions with depth. And believe it or not, we do not need drugs or alcohol to experience this heightened state of being; rather, we just need to fine-tune the skill of sensitivity, which I consider to be “embodied mindfulness”. (Mindfulness teaches us how to be aware of the present moment through the mind and our thoughts/observations, but sensitivity takes it just a notch further, teaching us to experience the present moment via our senses shifting from “I am aware that the temperature is warm” to “Can I drop in fully to experience the temperature as being warm, getting intimate with the nuances of that sensation throughout my entire body and feeling into the root textures of that state?”)
To be embodied is to fully inhabit self. If our body is the portal to which we get to inhabit our “self”… and we experience the body through our senses, then our senses are the key to unlocking our most enlivened self. While I don’t think the purpose of life is to solely experience pleasure (like I said, I believe we are meant to dance through the array of emotions – meeting and experiencing them all), for the sake of today’s chat, we are absolutely discussing our pleasure power and how to tap into it more fully, more sustainably. I’m convinced that when we are tapped in and turned onto our pleasure portal within, so much ease and contentment flows from there. Pleasure resides within your body, my loves. And when you tap into your inner pleasure power, you tap into your innate magnetic power, too. It’s inevitable; it happens automatically… it’s not something that you have to force, think about or make a goal around at all. Nothing is more magnetic than a woman who is living a joy-filled, pleasure-filled life… tapped into the full capacity of her being, through all of her senses. When you come across a woman tapped into her own pleasure-filled world within, it drips from every ounce of her being: the sway in her walk, the comfortable ease in her own sense of being. The lust she has for life creates a glow that is lit from within. You’re drawn in and captivated, because in a busy, disconnected… and numbed out world? We all crave to be seduced by her aura, as if being in her presence alone offers a portal into our own pleasure-filled capacity, too. It evokes a sense of possibility.
So, if you want to be more magnetic? Just focus on living more slowly, sensually and with pleasure infused throughout. The rest will come. This is not for the sake of being performative in the process (scratch out commercialized notions of sensuality), this is about tapping back into our body, because it is our right, our gift to connect with this portal within that is ours.
I believe, within varying degrees, we are all hedonists, and it’s our natural drive as humans to seek pleasure. However, we have been taught that pleasure is to be found outside of ourselves. And so, since the beginning of time, we have sought it through drugs, alcohol… shopping, sex, marriage, promotions – finding ourselves on a never-ending quest for pleasure, grasping onto the next stimulus desperately, as if it will finally be the thing that sustains itself. Though, it never does. At a time when we have the most access to that which should derive “pleasure”, instead, we are finding ourselves disconnected to our internal worlds, hooked on external stimulation, and yet oddly – more numb and dissatisfied than ever. That is because dopamine works in a tricky way and with our phones glued to our hands, amongst a million other synthetic quick-fixes within reach, our thresholds have gone haywire. It’s a conundrum that I believe has deeply affected our society’s ability to be satisfied with the beauty in the simplicity of life, and it’s happening on the chemical level. I’ll take a moment to put my handy ol’ neuroscience background to use, diving into this cycle briefly before I spill my secrets on cultivating the art of living a sensual life that truly provokes sustainable pleasure from within through the luxury found within the simplicities.
Neuroscience Lesson
Pleasure-Pain Balance
1. Dopamine and Pleasure: Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the brain that plays a key role in how we experience pleasure and reward. When we engage in activities that we find enjoyable (eating, socializing, using drugs, scrolling on our phones, etc.), dopamine is released, and we feel good.
2. Baseline Dopamine Levels: Our brain has a baseline level of dopamine. When we experience something pleasurable, the level of dopamine spikes above this baseline, which is perceived as a reward.
3. Dopamine Threshold and Tolerance: With repeated exposure to the same pleasurable stimulus, the brain adjusts by reducing the number of dopamine receptors or decreasing dopamine production. This means that over time, the same activity releases less dopamine than it used to, and we don’t feel as good as we once did from the same stimulus. This phenomenon is known as tolerance.
4. Increasing the Threshold: As a result of tolerance, we need more of the same stimulus (or a more intense stimulus) to achieve the same dopamine spike and feel the same level of pleasure. This is why people might escalate their behavior—such as consuming more food, spending more time on social media, or using higher doses of a drug—to chase the same high. (Have you noticed that when you sit down to watch a movie, watching the movie alone no longer produces a satiating enough sense of satisfaction, so simultaneously, instead, we have to reach for our phone and scroll while also watching the movie?)
Decreasing Dopamine Threshold for Pain
1. Dopamine Deficit State: If the stimulus is removed or reduced, the brain can experience a dopamine deficit state where the baseline level of dopamine is lower than normal. This can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, anxiety, or depression, further driving the individual to seek out the pleasurable stimulus even more urgently.
2. Lower Threshold for Pain: In this deficit state, the brain’s sensitivity to pain increases!!! Everyday discomforts and stresses, which might have been easily managed before, now feel more intense and intolerable. (So, our threshold to experience pleasure INCREASES meaning we need MORE just to feel the same baseline level of pleasure, while our threshold to experience pain DECREASES meaning, we feel pain more easily, quickly and intensely. They are intrinsically linked.)
The Pleasure-Pain Seesaw
1. Balance and Homeostasis: The brain constantly seeks to maintain balance (homeostasis) between pleasure and pain. When we experience pleasure, the brain counterbalances this by increasing pain sensitivity to restore equilibrium.
2. Overcorrection: With chronic overstimulation, this seesaw mechanism becomes dysregulated. The brain’s efforts to counteract excessive pleasure with increased pain sensitivity can lead to a state where even minor discomfort feels overwhelming. To avoid the heightened pain and discomfort of the dopamine deficit state, individuals may engage in compulsive behaviors, repeatedly seeking out high-dopamine activities despite negative consequences, never really finding satiation.
I believe that understanding this cycle can help us to recognize the importance of mindfulness, otherwise we become a victim of our vices, keeping us in this perpetual pattern of craving and dissatisfaction. It is this chronic overstimulation of our dopamine systems that has contributed to society’s increasing inability to tolerate “boredom” and a growing addiction to constant stimulation, but never actually feeling satisfied. This desensitization makes it difficult for many to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, such as reading a book or watching a sunset (because they actually don’t produce enough dopamine to reach your body’s new threshold). *One more important note on that: different activities produce different amounts of dopamine. So, activities such as reading or walking produce “low” levels of dopamine; whereas high-sugar foods, social media and substances produce “high” levels of dopamine. Also, interestingly, it’s generally synthetic, man-made substances and materials that produce the highest levels of dopamine (sugary donuts, video games, etc) and this was by design.
The hopeful thing, though, about this information is that our bodies are incredibly adaptable and we can actually recalibrate the brain’s dopamine thresholds. This process involves reducing or eliminating exposure to unnatural and high-dopamine activities as a means of restoring the brain’s balance and sensitivity to pleasure. I’m not suggesting we eliminate altogether, I am just as much a participant in modern society as anyone else. However, I believe that in engaging with these activities more intentionally, we will actually find the connection/sensation we are all craving. In doing so over time, this will allow for us to, once again, experience pleasure from simpler, every day activities. As you are going through a “dopamine detox” and are reducing access to high-dopamine activities, such as eating excessive sugar, scrolling on your phone endlessly, etc., you will experience withdrawal symptoms, including boredom, irritability and restlessness. However, these symptoms are only temporary, and if we can sustain the discomfort just long enough, then right on the other side of it, is freedom – where we can find true and lasting fulfillment from within by simply being.
From there, we get to tap in and get turned onto our innate power. We become chemists magicians, mindfully manipulating the chemicals in our bodies like potions and casting spells through our intentions, as we create our reality from within. Believe it or not, we can manipulate our internal experience, because it is our body, after all, that is producing the chemicals that cause for us to feel a certain way and to an extent (to which degree, we are still finding out), we have the ability to command the body. That topic is a whole other post, though.
Pleasure is within our body. Love is within our body. It is not outside of us. Our body produces the chemicals.
When we begin to infuse the senses into our every day habits, we turn the simple into something sparkly and transform a routine into a ritual… and more importantly, we get turned onto our capacity to feel. A question that has pioneered the designing of my own life has been, “How can I infuse the senses to make this experience more rich?” And I ask this question of everything that I do. I also love to use spas as a source of inspiration in this process, because spas are often an incorporation of all the senses. (Sight: dim lighting and candles, Touch: warm waters, plush and soft robes, Scent: essential oils, Taste: herbal teas with honey, citrus infused waters, Sound: soft and soothing music)
When I tell you that my every day, from the moment I wake up to the the second that I fall asleep is infused with a subtle sense of pleasure throughout and that I find more contentment in my every day rituals than I often do on vacation, I’m not exaggerating. I love my every day. I love my rituals… and baby, I was living a rich and sensual life, long before I had any material wealth that caught up with me. The experience within my body feels rich, and it has transcended from within to without, as well. Below is a guide on how I incorporate the senses to create an incredibly delicious and fulfilling life for myself, connecting back into my body and its senses. While there is an inclusion of products and “material goods” that I do use to infuse the process, none of these products are “over-stimulating” and are used as a means to “support” whereas my body and the senses themselves are the main focus. Meaning – they bring me further into my body, versus pull me out of it. This is not meant to be a cheap and superficial approach to sensuality, but rather – it’s so much deeper than that. It’s about resisting cultural norms to grind until our death, to sacrifice the body in the process and instead reclaim our innate right to experience pleasure from within in our every day life that comes from this beautiful body of ours through the senses.
My only tv has been broken for 6 months!!! (and we still haven’t gotten it fixed), I’m incredibly detached from my phone (it’s hard to get a reply from me!!), I rarely ever drink anymore (but use it as a potion in the company of good friends from time to time, because it can also be a ritual) and I cannot tolerate a Starbuck’s latte anymore for the life of me because it actually tastes like sugar water (when that used to be a daily treat). All that to say, of course, I still engage in “synthetic” activities and participate in modern society – shamelessly, but I do believe I have been able to recalibrate my thresholds (which is an ever and ongoing process) and have found a way to find so much deep joy and pleasure in the the simplicities that follow, which has had a cascade of benefits that have unfolded. I will get into that more at a later time.
Touch
“It’s the feeling when you close your eyes underwater, and it’s terrifying and beautiful and you lose yourself in the sensation of the waves of water, like silk on your skin – something incredible and enchanting.”
(An excerpt from an old piece of prose of mine.)
Touch is one of the most electrifying sensations, and I guess it’s no surprise being that skin is the largest organ of the body. There are so many enchanting ways that you can play with the sense of touch throughout your day. Here are the ways that I enhance the sense of touch in my every day living:
1. I love playing with textures, and I have a variety of textures throughout my home.
Your bed is such a sacred… artifact? (Lol, it feels too important to call it an “item”.) It is the last place you lay your head upon before falling asleep for the night and it’s the first place you wake up, setting the tone for your day. When I wake up, I want to feel good. So, my sheets? Everyone has their preferred material; I love a satiny sheet. I love its smoothness, caressing my skin and how feathery light it is.
To contrast that, though, I love a big, thick and heavy blanket. Always. No matter the season. The comforter that I use on my bed is a light one, but then I have this very thick, heavy ivory throw blanket I got from Pottery Barn that I put on top of it, and I keep the temperatures in the room cool at night, so I can really snuggle up.
2. I also loveee taking walking in the summer and FEELING the warm sun on my skin and actually just being with that sensation. I swear, if you really drop into it and pay attention to it, it’s ecstasy. Next time you step outside, see if you can drop in and just feel that sensation, feel how comforting it feels to be bathed by the sun.
And when you’re walking, see if you can slowwww down your pace and move your body with ease… with flow. Can you find pleasure in the motions?
Reflect on this and ask yourself: How does walking intentionally this way feel differently in your body versus how you normally walk?
3. I love oils. I love luxuriating the body in oil. Dripping in oils. I’ll take an oil over a lotion, any day. I am an oil girlie.
And when I’m putting the oil on my body? Deliberate about it. Just when I get out the shower, before grabbing a towel to dry off, I’ll stand in the shower a bit to let some of the water fall off of my skin. Then, with my body still wet, I’ll take an oil and work it into my entire body… The water + oil combination really let’s it soak in and absorb.
I also try to be really present for this process, ritualizing it – giving my body gratitude while I am tending to it, literally speaking loving affirmations to myself (usually in my head) while I am caressing my body with the oils. I’ll then let the oil soak in a bit before I take a towel and lightly pat my body dry.
I have a large variety of oils (because I’m extra like that), but some of my favorites are:
- Both the Moroccan Oil Dry Oil and Night Body Serum are heavenly. They also smell incredible.
- Don’t knock the luxury of a simple oil derived from nature, with no additives… Earth is a sensual babe, and she knows what she’s doing. I always have a bottle of organic Pura D’or almond oil in my shower, as well. This is just as divine as any of my pricier oils. This process does not have to be expensive to be rich.
4. I also love opening my windows in the summer and spring and feeling fresh air circulate throughout the space.
5. I have mini lotions scattered throughout my space. I have one on my nightstand, one at the kitchen sink, one on my tray that I carry around with me throughout the day as I’m changing locations in my home. (I get into my rituals and routines in another post, but my tray is my little “work-station”, that I can put my laptop on to easily change spaces in my home without having to separately carry a bunch of different things, but on it, I also always have a magazine for creative/visual inspiration, a book, hand lotion and a lip oil.)
I will change the lotions up to try different brands when they run out, but currently in the circulation is the Tocca trio set that came in a variety of scents.
I love oiling my lips, as part of my skin regimen, too. I love a hydrated lip. I could do a whole post on this, but some of my current favorites are:
Summer Fridays Lip Butter Balm
Image Skincare Ormedic Ph Balancing Lip Enhancement Complex
Smell
Smell has such a power to be a transcending sense. It can serve as the gateway to a world of enchantment and nostalgia, being that it is deeply interconnected with our olfactory system and our brain’s ability to recall memories. Because of a phenomenon, known as the Proustian memory effect, scents can have a profound effect on how we recollect past experiences, bridging our memories with depth and emotional resonance when we take in a particular smell associated with that memory. Pair that with the another phenomenon, known as classical conditioning (we’ve probably all heard of Pavlov’s infamous salivation experiment with the dogs), and your rituals can become powerful. For example, if you repeatedly light a candle at the end of your work day, your brain starts to form an association between the candle and relaxation. This process involves the repeated pairing of the neutral stimulus (the candle) and the unconditioned stimulus (relaxation). Over time, your brain learns to associate the act of lighting the candle with the feeling of relaxation and eventually, the candle alone (now a conditioned stimulus) can trigger relaxation (the conditioned response) even before you begin the relaxing activity, such as reading or meditating. And because certain aromas are associated with your home, (due to the mentioned Proustian effect), if home is a place of respite, you can have fond memories of home being relaxing anytime you smell that certain scent so that when you step foot in your home, it’s your instantly transcended. Like I said, when we learn to work with the brain and the body effectively, babe we are literally magicians – commanding the body, instead of it controlling us.
1. With the scent of smell, I love playing with different aromas. In the space where I work, I prefer an essential oil diffuser, being that I am there the most and this allows for it to be a little “cleaner”. I love my Virtuvi diffuser. It’s a bit pricier than some of the others out there, but it’s also the most aesthetically pleasing, too. You know a girl loves a beautiful addition to her home.
I usually keep their Rest Kit stocked, and while I love all of the scents, Dusk and Grove are my favorites. I love a woodsy, earthy aroma.
2. In my living room and bathroom, I light candles, and I like to play with different scents according to the season.
In general, I love a woodsy, earthy scent like patchouli or amber and these are some of my current favorites:
I also love a coconut vanilla in the summer:
This warm vanilla scent in the gorgeous wooden bowl that it comes in is also a regular one that I buy
This one by La Jolie Muse is delicious
I also have this reed diffuser in the scent Santal Woods (mmmm…) on a shelf in my shower, too; I love that it comes with eucalyptus leaves.
3. I always have fresh eucalyptus hanging in my shower, and I feel like it really elevates the experience giving it a fresh scent every time that I shower. It also looks nice, too. I typically buy from this bunch from the Etsy shop, LuxuryLavender.
I buy the eucalyptus and mint essential oil spray, as well that they sell and use it when I want even more aroma. I will spray it along the front wall of the shower beneath the shower head and let the water hitting it fill up the space with a fresh, cleansing aroma.
4. Like any modern babe, I have palo santo and sage scattered throughout my home, too, lighting that up at random throughout my week.
Taste
Taste… What a delight that we were given the sense of taste from the sweet burst of fresh berries to the savory depth of a well-seasoned dish, each bight an invitation to indulge in life’s culinary delights.
As far as taste goes, there are lots of ways that I jazz up the every day.
1. I love adding electrolytes to my water for that extra flavor, making it incredibly easy to get through adequate enough water for my body.
My favorite ones are:
LMNT, with the orange salt flavor on a constant repeat
I also love Pique’s B T Fountain Beauty Electrolytes
2. I love a sparkling water; it’s such a refreshing treat, and we always have our fridge stocked with different ones to keep things exciting. How there is such a wide range in quality amongst sparkling water is beyond me, but Liquid Death’s is ELITE. When I taste it, I’m like… ohhh, yeah, this is absolutely premium. I can taste it. Haha!
I also love a dark cherry flavored sparkling water and my favorites are either Water Loo or Bubly
3. I also loveee, love making healthy and soothing concoctions; to me its the equivalence to potions – a modern girl’s magic… just mixing things up for different effects. A dash of this, a sprinkle of that and voila – sleeping beauty.
Some of my favorites are:
Moon Juice’s Magnesi-om and I like to add this to sparkling water, a little tart cherry juice and if I’m feeling fancy, a squeeze of lime juice and fresh herbs.
*even better if it’s in a wine glass, because life gets to sparkly just because
I also love Moon Juice’s Cosmic Coco and I’ll generally make this with almond milk, honey or maple syrup, with a dash of cinnamon.
4. I love my morning ritual – and while it used to be coffee more than anything else, lately it’s been my matcha latte. And it’s a whole process… one that I look forward to every day, forcing me to start slowly as I go through the motions.
I love using Rocky’s Matcha, and I buy the Ceremonial Blend
I pour a tsp of matcha into my matcha bowl, heat up some water using my electric kettle, shutting it off just before boiling. I use a matcha chasen to blend, using a decent amount of water (I eye-ball it, but generally – it seems to be more water than what most recipes call for; I don’t want my latte to be all milk).
I will then add in honey to taste.
Simultaneously, I heat up some almond milk in the microwave (maybe about 3/4 a cup) and use my electric frother wand to get it nice and thick. I pour the milk into the bowl, scoop out the froth to place on top and sprinkle it with cinnamon. Such a treat. And then I really slow down and savor this in my morning.
5. I always have high quality tea’s stocked, as well and I am finding that I like to try out a new variety, usually inspired by the latest spa that I visited. My latest go-to are Tea Forte’s assorted variety of herbal teas, so delicious. With honey? Divine. I love ritualizing the end of my work day by lighting my candle and making an herbal tea with honey… signaling to the body that it is now time to rest and relax.
6. I also keep two beautiful canisters on my coffee table of little snacks that are easy to reach when I am relaxing on the couch. I like to change it up, but currently I have them filled with dry almonds and the other with dried apricots (inspired by the spa).
7. I typically have dark chocolate stocked, as well. I like it rich… so that I am satiated by savoring just a small piece. I love a truffle. I picked up a bunch of Sprungli’s Truffes du Jour while I was in Switzerland to bring back with me in dark. I also love Lindt’s dark chocolate with sea salt bars. Godiva makes heavenly dark chocolate truffles, as well.
I also tend to keep dates stocked, too – a date with a little bit of peanut butter and a dash of salt? How is nature so delicious? I usually have Hu Kitchen Dark Chocolate Gems stocked, too, and if I want it to be even more indulgent, I’ll throw a little nib in there, too.
Sight
When it comes to the sense of sight, I love playing with lighting. It’s one of the easiest ways to create an ambiance… and it has the ability to really set the tone of the space. Dim lighting with candles? Sensual music playing in the background? The mood and energy of the place is instantly transformed.
1. I have lots of unscented pillar and taper candles that are used solely for lighting. Dinner time? By candle-light only, even on a Tuesday. It’s so soothing, it’s so sensual… I love to catch up with my guy and actually sit down at our table over candle light.
2. If you remember, on Instagram I was annoyingly raving nonstop about my Phillip’s Hue lighting system I set up throughout our space. I still think it was my best purchase of the year. The way our space is set up, we actually don’t have any overhead lighting – lamps only, and I placed the Hue bulbs in all of our lamps. I originally bough the white light only ones, but loved them so much that I returned them that same week to trade them in for the color and white light variation, and I am so glad that I did.
They come with a remote and you can change them to all kinds of different colors, and shades of white and yellow, with so many different dimming features. They even have cute pre-set settings that you can select, such as “Savannah Sunset” and it will bathe your room in hues of pink and orange. I play with these often. When I am reading in bed before I fall asleep? A cool warm light. When I have a girlfriend over for dinner? A fun, pink light. When I’m taking a break from work, and lying on my PEMF mat? Light purple. I loveee this system. And while it’s a bit of an investment for light bulbs, I did some research after I bought it, curious as to how long the light bulbs last for. Each bulb has a lifetime of 25,000 hours. Let’s say you have your lights on for an average of 8 hours a day, that’s 3,125 days or 8.5 years. Ummmm…. SO WORHT IT, in my opinion. (Girl math?)
Sound
The way sound has the ability to get me out of my head and into my body. I swear, I can play a good song, shut down my eyes, and just sway – instantly feeling an uplift. When I go into a beautiful bar or restaurant, and they don’t have any music playing… or they have a poor music choice playing, I’m always curious as to who is running the place? Music is one of those things that drastically sets the tone of a place. And if you’re a sexy lounge or cocktail bar… you need sexy music playing. Simple.
1. With sounds, I love playing with music to set different vibes. While on the weekends I’ll generally play more “fun” music, especially as I do my morning gratitude ritual, during the day and especially after work, I find most music over-stimulating after being on my computer doing sessions for the day.
So, when the vibe is relaxation, I have several options. A while back, I discovered the artist, Chantress Seba on Youtube, and my life has never been the same.
She is literally one of the most angelic, other-worldly singers I have ever come across… I don’t know how she’s real. I play her music so often. When I am writing my notes for the day, when I am cooking… the perfect soothing music that my soul needs after a day of work. When I go to get my lashes done, and I have to sit there for an hour +, I now lay there with my big Apple Airpod Max headphones on and play her music, and it feels like I am a goddess, getting beautified by fairies. (Or at least, that’s what I imagine in my mind to create less resistance around another appointment; my lash appointment has actually now transformed into a meditative ritual for myself = game changer.)
I mean, all of her songs are incredible, but I’ll drop in a few for reference:
Soothe Anxiety, Stress and Fatigue
2. Another angel that has blessed us with her music is Mei-Lan whom I also discovered on Youtube. Sometimes I will actually just lay on my bed for a while, with my headphones on and just feel the music, especially when I want to unwind. It’s so, so transformative for myself.
Some of my go-to’s are:
3. I also love a spa playlist and I’ll cycle through different ones on Spotify, usually searching “Luxury Spa Music”. If I am writing client notes = spa music. If I am cooking, either classical or spa music. When I am walking? Oftentimes no music, but sometimes I enjoy soothing spa music or angelic music, mentioned before. When writing notes for my clients, it’s so easy for me to click into auto-pilot, get tension throughout my body and then try to rush through them… but then I realized, why am I trying to rush through life? We are always rushing through life… oftentimes for no good reason, and so now, I ritualize the process, play my soothing music, literally slowwwwww down my typing, sway my body lightly with the music and drop in as I go about the process.
So, babes – there are so many ways we can play with the senses, but as you can see, my entire way of living and being is sensual in nature… and I have crafted an every day life that is delicious, infusing pleasure throughout in a way that is healthy and sustainable. I hear time and time again clients gripe to me about feeling tension and stress, and when they break down their daily routines to me? They wake up and immediately rush out to go to work, oftentimes eat lunch at their desk and come home to more responsibilities, feeling frazzled and disoriented from the day that they had. Are you kidding me? If I have just one day where I don’t get a slow morning, I am a grump about it. I savor this time to myself; it’s nonnegotiable, and I will wake up as early as I have to in order to continue having it throughout the rest of my life. I know, I knowww that current work-culture does not make this easy for us, but we must resist and we must resist throughout our every day in our own small ways.
You can absolutely incorporate all of these things into an office, too. The idea is to infuse the senses throughout your day so that sensual living becomes a lifestyle. I am especially particular about creating a serene and sacred space within my home, because I think that our home is one of the most important places of respite. You can get creative with this and work with the environment that you’re within to make it just a little bit more soothing. It was only recently in my life that I began working from home, and before that – I lived in a four-bedroom apartment with roommates, but I’ve been living sensually for ages. Bring your tea bags to work… listen to your angel music with your headphones on while you are getting a difficult task done or are commuting on a hectic and chaotic subway to soothe your soul, defy the office culture of sitting at your desk and eating while working and demand a break to walk outside for lunch. Infuse the senses throughout, slowwww down the body, stop rushing and notice how even the tiniest changes over time have the ability to stop the cascade effect of stress and business allowing for you to find joy and rest in the every day.
This is your right. You are not a machine. Your sole purpose is not based on productivity. We must remind ourselves of this daily.
It’s a constant practice to slow down. It’s a constant reminder – one that I am slipping in and out of forgetting and remembering (and will for the rest of my life, that’s inevitable), but the more that I create an entire lifestyle around sensual living, the easier it is to be surrounded by constant reminders.
Leaving these two beautiful quotes by Tricia Hersey’s book, Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto
“Reimagining rest looks like so many things. The possibilities are endless and infinite. Rest looks like tapping in and listening to what your body and soul want. It’s extra time while bathing, even an extra ten minutes of concentrated silence. Rest is taking a leisurely walk and dancing. Rest is a tea ritual allowing you to meditate while breathing in each warm sip. Rest is not returning an email immediately and maintaining healthy boundaries. Rest is honoring the boundaries of those you engage with. Rejecting urgency. Rest is detoxing from social media. Rest is listening and healing from individual trauma. Rest is journaling so you can be a witness to your own inner knowing without the energy of others. Rest uplifts and boosts our Spirit, allowing us to know that we are enough, and the care of our souls deserves a role in our healing plans.”
“As we ignore our body’s call to slow down, we disregard the inherent wisdom that is granted to us by being alive.”
**Bonus: Leaving this guided meditation I created here, as well, to aid in dropping into the senses while going about drinking your morning coffee or tea.
And side note: Not only does the skill of sensitivity allow for us to really feel and live life with more depth transcending its way through everything – from our relationships, to our connectedness with self, but it also deepens our intuition, allowing for us to live a more intentional life, too. While we love to think of intuition as something mysterious and nebulous, we are all born intuitive. However, it has not been something that has been considered as much value in our modern society, and so we haven’t been taught how to harness this gift. Our body is always speaking to us, though, throughout our entire day, and it speaks to us through the language of symptoms. It could be tension in the shoulders when a boss asks you to take on another project, or tightness in the chest with a partner speaks to you disrespectfully. However, when we are so busy, fatigued and dependent on external stimulation, it’s so easy to get numbed out, and we miss these constant cues that our body is always signaling to us. If you ignore them long enough, though? The get LOUDER, forcing you to stop. It always amazes me when people get upset with their bodies for finally shutting down… babe, compassionately – your body is not the problem. It was speaking to you long before it took these extreme measures, but you didn’t hear it. So, by living a sensual life (i.e., tapped in and tuned into our senses), not only do you live a more pleasurable life, but you also become acutely aware of what is going on within, allowing for you to live a life in harmony with the body. There will be another post on that, too, though – on how we can use the body and its senses to cultivate our intuition.
Oh, and also – I don’t get paid for any of the products mentioned! Just an honest reflection on things I’m currently loving in my life right now.
So much love,
Alex
